Saturday, August 26, 2006

Hooked on 24? Do You Think Jack Bauer is Better Than James Bond?

As "24" heads the list of Emmy nominees this year, I thought you might enjoy this. My good Friend Keyvan has produced the following list. If you are looking for a good copywriter, let me know in the comments.

Keyvan Attaie
  1. You say that you will watch only one episode of "24" but you end up watching 2 or more episodes back-to-back
  2. The first thing you say when you wake up is "THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 6:00 a.m. and 7:00 a.m.
  3. You try to get other people hooked on "24"
  4. You pretend to be Jack Bauer or another character of the show
  5. You have the willpower to wait for the new season to be released on DVD
  6. You keep humming the show’s theme song
  7. You watch every season over and again
  8. On your birthday you subscribe to the official "24" fanclub because A) you feel that you deserve it, B) it is one way of proving your faithfulness to the show and C) it is your birthday gift to yourself
  9. You refuse to renew your subscription to the "24" official fanclub on any other day than on your birthday
  10. You can’t believe that the show’s events are happening in the city you live in
  11. As you are typing you think you are a CTU member
  12. You turn every conversation into a "24" conversation
  13. You watch the entire new season in a marathon on DVD
  14. Instead of doing your homework you draw "24" related stuff
  15. You get excited that your purchases came to a total of $24
  16. You get excited when it is 24 minutes after the hour
  17. You get excited when it is on the 24th second
  18. You get excited that you are turning 24
  19. you get excited upon seeing a "24" billboard
  20. When you see a "2" you put a "4" next to it and when you see a "4" you put a "2" in front of it
  21. You fantasize about meeting and/or pray to meet the cast of the show
  22. You make a countdown to the new season’s DVD release on your calander
  23. You own over 4 items related to the show
  24. You have all the released seasons of "24"on DVD
  25. Each time you see someone that you know is addicted to "24" you think of "24"
  26. For all the mathematics assignments you write 24 as the answer even when the answer is not 24
  27. You get excited because 24 is mentioned twice in the above 2 sentences
  28. You send your kids to their room just so you can watch the show
  29. You ask your kids’ teachers to give them more homework so you can watch the show
  30. You get excited because the church you go to has a series of sermons inspired by "24" which to you it is confirmation that you are at the right church
  31. You get excited because you think the sermons inspired by the show will last 24 weeks
  32. Weeks before the church started its sermons inspired by the show you were thinking about how cool it would be if the church had sermons inspired by the show
  33. You fantasize about Kiefer Sutherland showing up at church sometime between the beginning and the end of the sermons inspired by the show and ponder how he would react to them
  34. You can’t believe that the church and its members do not condemn the show
  35. You get saved at one of the sermons inspired by the show because you were looking for a reason to be saved, and the sermons inspired by the show were a sign to you
  36. You make a spoof of the show or fantasize about making one
  37. The show makes you question real life
  38. You fantasize about opening a church and naming it after the show (ex: The First 24 Church)
  39. You fantasize about opening a restaurant with "24" as its name and with the characters’ names as the menu names and a season number instead of the meal time name (ex: "Season One" instead of "Breakfast")
  40. You bake or order a cake with the show’s logo or name on it
  41. You name your child after a character or star of the show
  42. You see a movie just because one of the stars of "24" is in it
  43. You change the chorus of Robert Palmer’s song "Addicted To Love" to "Addicted To 24"
  44. You change Twister Sisters’ song "We’re Not Gonna Take It" to "Jack’s Not Gonna Take It"
  45. You can’t believe that you know someone who does not like the show and/or is not addicted to it
  46. You make up your own trailer for the show
  47. You put the trailer in your e-mail signature
  48. You change your Myspace display name to a "24" character or something related to the show
  49. You write "Jack Bauer" or another character from the show in the "HEROES" section of your Myspace profile
  50. You are thinking about the next season of the show when the current season is not over
  51. You spend more time thinking about "24" than anything else
  52. At random times you make the ticking sound of the show’s seconds that come before and after the commercials
  53. After having watched the new season you can’t believe it’s over-even after watching twice on DVD
  54. Each time Jack tortures, kidnaps, arrests and/or kills a terrorist you scream cheers to him from the top of your lungs
  55. You tell your friends that "24" is the best show on television and/or DVD
  56. You tell your friends that "24" is the best show to ever exist
  57. You can’t believe how fast Kim Bauer falls in love
  58. You realize that watching all the seasons of "24" stopped you from living your regular life
  59. During your "24" marathon you have a DO NOT DISTURB: I’M WATCHING "24" sign on your doorknob
  60. You buy a street parking sign that says PARKING FOR "24" FANS ONLY
  61. You can’t believe that you are going to e-mail this list to your pastor
  62. You start making your own list of ways to know you're addicted to "24"
  63. You believe that "do not be unequally yoked" means that if one of you does not like "24" you are not made for each other
  64. You hope and/or pray that Jesus Christ won’t come back until you have watched the entire new season on TV and/or DVD
  65. You spend more time talking about "24" than Jesus Christ
  66. You spend more time watching "24" than reading the Bible
  67. You claim that "W.W.J.D" stands for "What Would Jack Do" instead of "What Would Jesus Do"
  68. You take the time to read this list instead of the Bible
  69. You count the number of time 24 is mentioned in this list in hopes that it is mentions 24 times and/or as a simple act of boredom
  70. You e-mail this list to everyone you know is addicted to the show and has seen all the season currently out on DVD
  71. You rejoice over the awards the people involved with the show won
  72. You hope that there will be a "24" movie
  73. You get excited that the writers mentioned they are working on making a "24" movie
  74. During election season you wear a "David Palmer for president" t-shirt
  75. You make a "24" fansite
  76. You try to imitate Jack Bauer in every way you can
  77. You speculate the DVD release date of the current season when no announcement has been made about it yet.
  78. You can’t believe that this list was created during the time of the sermons inspired by the show
  79. You can’t believe that there are 80 ways of being a "24" addict
  80. You actually took the time to read all the 80 reasons that let you know what makes you a "24" addict.

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